[005]
Certaldo, as perchance you may have heard, is a town of
Val
d'Elsa within our country-side, which, small though it is, had in it
aforetime people of rank and wealth.
[006]
Thither, for that there he
found good
pasture, 'twas long the wont of one of the Friars of St.
Antony to resort
once every year, to collect the alms that fools gave
them. Fra
Cipolla--so hight the friar--met with a hearty
welcome,
no less, perchance, by reason of his name than for other cause,
the
onions produced in that district being famous throughout Tuscany.
[007]
He
was little of person, red-haired, jolly-visaged, and the very best
of good
fellows; and therewithal, though learning he had none, he
was
so excellent and ready a speaker that whoso knew him not would
not only
have esteemed him a great rhetorician, but would have
pronounced him Tully
himself or, perchance, Quintilian; and in all
the country-side there was
scarce a soul to whom he was not either
gossip or friend or lover.
[008]
Being
thus wont from time to time to
visit Certaldo, the friar came there once
upon a time in the month
of August, and on a Sunday morning, all the good
folk of the
neighbouring farms being come to mass in the parish church, he
took
occasion to come forward and say:
[009]
"Ladies and gentlemen, you
wot
'tis your custom to send year by year to the poor of Baron
Master St.
Antony somewhat of your wheat and oats, more or less,
according to the
ability and the devoutness of each, that blessed St.
Antony may save your
oxen and asses and pigs and sheep from harm;
[010]
and you are also accustomed,
and especially those whose names are
on the books of our confraternity, to
pay your trifling annual dues.
To collect which offerings, I am hither
sent by my superior, to wit,
Master Abbot; wherefore, with the blessing of
God, after none,
when you hear the bells ring, you will come out of the
church to
the place where in the usual way I shall deliver you my sermon,
and
you will kiss the cross;
[011]
and therewithal, knowing, as I do, that you
are one and all most devoted to Baron Master St. Antony, I will by
way of
especial grace shew you a most holy and goodly relic, which
I brought
myself from the Holy Land overseas, which is none other
than one of the
feathers of the Angel Gabriel, which he left behind
him in the room of the
Virgin Mary, when he came to make her
the annunciation in Nazareth."
[012]
And having said thus much, he
ceased, and went on with the mass.
[013]
Now among
the many that
were in the church, while Fra Cipolla made this speech, were
two
very wily young wags, the one Giovanni del Bragoniera by name,
the
other Biagio Pizzini; who, albeit they were on the best of
terms with Fra
Cipolla and much in his company, had a sly laugh
together over the relic,
and resolved to make game of him and his
feather.
[014]
So, having learned that
Fra Cipolla was to breakfast that
morning in the town with one of his
friends, as soon as they knew
that he was at table, down they hied them
into the street, and to the
inn where the friar lodged, having complotted
that Biagio should
keep the friar's servant in play, while Giovanni made
search among
the friar's goods and chattels for this feather, whatever it
might be,
to carry it off, that they might see how the friar
would afterwards
explain the matter to the people.
[015]
Now Fra Cipolla had for
servant
one Guccio, whom some called
by way of
addition Balena, others
Imbratta, others again Porco, and who
was
such a rascallion that
sure it is that Lippo Topo himself never painted his like.
[016]
Concerning
whom Fra Cipolla would ofttimes make merry with his
familiars,
saying: "My servant has nine qualities, any one of
which in Solomon,
Aristotle, or Seneca, would have been enough to
spoil all their virtue,
wisdom and holiness. Consider, then, what
sort of a man he must be that
has these nine qualities, and yet never
a spark of either virtue or wisdom
or holiness."
[017]
And being asked
upon divers occasions what these nine
qualities might be, he strung
them together in rhyme, and answered: "I
will tell you. Lazy
and uncleanly and a liar he is, Negligent, disobedient
and foulmouthed,
iwis, And reckless and witless and mannerless: and
therewithal
he has some other petty vices, which 'twere best to pass
over.
[018]
And the most amusing thing about him is, that, wherever he goes, he
is for taking a wife and renting a house, and on the strength of a big,
black, greasy beard he deems himself so very handsome a fellow and
seductive, that he takes all the women that see him to be in love
with
him, and, if he were left alone, he would slip his girdle and run
after
them all. [019]True it is that he is of great use to me, for that,
be any
minded to speak with me never so secretly, he must still have
his share of
the audience; and, if perchance aught is demanded of
me, such is his fear
lest I should be at a loss what answer to make,
that he presently replies,
ay or no, as he deems meet."
